Marriage and Couples Counselling Sydney - Separation and Divorce
At times, relationships disintegrate despite the best efforts to save them. While in our practice we aim to keep couples together, there are times when separation and divorce are unavoidable, and we can help to reduce the emotional pain and to work towards a healthy transition.
There are many reasons why couples separate. Infidelity, growing apart, value differences, drug and alcohol abuse, physical, verbal or emotional abuse, contrasting life and career goals, just to name a few. When relationship difficulties become unsustainable, often the only way forward is separation.
Things to Consider when Separating
There are several factors to consider when separating. Although separation is a stressful process, it is often in the best interest of couples to make decisions together with the (ex)partner. Some of the key areas that should be considered together are listed below:
Finances and Assets
If possible, it is the best to settle financial matters out of court. Seeking legal advise is often essential, but engaging in long "legal battles" should be evaluated carefully.
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Kids
Children can significantly complicate the separation process. However, when children are involved, especially young children, the interest of the child outweighs the individual interests of the parents. Children have the RIGHT to love both parents and simply because the parents decided to separate, children shold maintain close ties with both. Of course, when abuse and/or any form of violence was part of the relationship, children should be protected.
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Friends and Family
Separation often forces family and friends to "take sides" and to reduce or maintain relationship with one party. This is often unavoidable and can contribute to the emotional difficulties after separation and divorce.
Family and friends will have to decide how they deal with the separation, but after long term relationships it is helpful to allow family members to "vent" and voice their opinion. If possible, talk to your partner about what you find acceptable and/or unacceptable involvement from family members.
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Moving Out
Often before deciding about how to divide assets, one party will leave the family home. Who moves out and who stays will also depend on whether the couple has children, whether they are planning to start a new relationship or simply convenience, such as proximity to work.
Moving out can be a very difficult decision. If possible, discuss co-habitation with your partner until the best opportunity arise to move.
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