Decision Making Difficulties
Decision making about important aspects of our life is a difficult
process because of its paradoxical nature. Think about the
following rationale. We all like to have options to choose from and
when we have no options available we feel restricted. In other words,
we want to feel that we are free agents with
different alternatives who can make rational decisions within
these alternatives.
But what happens when you make a decision?
Once you selected a course of action or a direction from different
alternatives, your freedom to make a choice is gone. This is the
point where people often begin to question their decisions and this the
time when the "what if" thinking style sets in: "did I make the right
decision, what if the other option was really what I
needed?"
If you think about the above rationale it is easy to
see why decision making can be a difficult process. We all
want to make the right choices, especially when important areas of our
lives are concerned, such as staying with a partner or
leaving, having children, changing jobs, moving or buying a house and
so forth. Although we rarely think about it, intrinsically we
know that once it is made, reversing a decision is often not
possible.
How Can Counselling
Help?
Whether it is the primary concern or a topic that emerges
during counselling, we frequently help people become better decision
makers. Dealing with alternatives and working towards a final
decision through counselling is a creative process and our clients
always leave at the end of the session with increased knowledge and closer
to a final choice.
Below are some of the strategies that you
may encounter when working with a counsellor on decision
making:
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We will explore your values. We treat values as
"action guiding principles" and as such we believe that personal
values should drive decision making. However, people often
ignore their values and base decisions purely on presumed
outcomes. Your counsellor will help you explore your value system
and evaluate presumed outcomes in light of what is consistent with
your values.
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We will explore the notion of
uncertainty. Your counsellor will encourage you to
accept that no decision will ever guarantee a 100% certain
outcome.
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We will explore your natural decision making
style. Your counsellor will help you recognise
what is important to you when you make a decision and how you made
important decisions in the past.
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We will explore the pros and cons with you in a
structured fashion. Your counsellor will go through different
exercises to show you the advantages and disadvantages of
your options in different lights.
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We will challenge you. With the help of your
counsellor you will learn to challenge yourself
and develop genuine perspectives on your dilemma. This is a
very different process from talking to family or friends. Family
or friends are biased and will often give you advice based on what
they think will be the best for you. We
are unbiased and we will not give you any
advice. Instead your counsellor will help you to take
perspectives without over reliance on friends and
family.
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We will explore the long term importance of goal
setting. Your counsellor will go through different goal setting
strategies that will speed up the process of your decision
making.
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We will gently "push" you to make a final
decision. Your counsellor will keep in mind that most
decisions are time limited.
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As decision making is often time limited,
people rarely need more than a handful of sessions to explore
alternatives. In
fact, the majority of our clients make a
final decision during their session time and they are ready to
implement it when
they leave.
