Marriage and Couples Counselling Sydney - Communication Problems
Communication is at the heart of all relationships. Whether it
is a friendship or marriage, the ability to communicate effectively
will determine the success (or failure) of the relationship. But effective
communication is a skill that most people have to learn.
Our
couples counsellors are trained at identifying and correcting the
communication difficulties that couples often experience. For most couples
it is surprising that implementing simple communication
techniques can quickly improve their relationships. In fact,
exploring alternative ways to communicate with each other is often the
first step towards a successful relationship or
marriage.
Communication
Blocks
When working with couples, our relationship
counsellors often work with communication blocks. If present, these
"roadblocks" must be addressed before moving forward:
Silent Treatment or
"Stonewalling"
Silent treatment is the ultimate
communication block. It blocks the partner out and eliminates all
possibilities to find a solution to a problem. Silent treatment is
also often used as a form of "punishment" or attempt to "teach a
lesson". Experience tells us that silent treatment is extremely
damaging for a relationship. Couples committed to work on their
relationships must also commit to abandon silent treatment and work
towards maintaining some form of
communication.
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Inconsistent Verbal and Nonverbal
Cues
Communication involves both verbal and
nonverbal ways. However, you can say one thing verbally,
but at the same time your eyes or body language can communicate
something completely different. These inconsistencies usually stem
from attempts to conceal how we really feel or what we really think.
Learning ways to talk about difficult or "taboo" topics can
often automatically reduce inconsistencies.
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Ongoing
Criticism
Constructive criticism is part of a
functioning relationship. But constant and unwarranted criticism can
easily undermine positive communication. Indiscriminate criticism is
often the sign of our inability to accept the other person for who
she/he is. Criticism can be a way of pointing out differences and
sending a message of "I don't like
you".
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Contempt in
Communication
Contempt is the single most reliable
predictor of relationships that will likely to end in
separation. By definition, contempt is the mix of the two
emotions of anger and disgust. When communicated, contempt aims to
hurt the other party by degrading the person and questioning the
values and beliefs she/he holds. Contempt often sends the message
that the other person is "faulty", "not good enough" and
"worthless".
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The 7 Signs of Communication Problems
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Feeling that you are not being heard.
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Feeing that you can't seem to get through to your
partner, no matter how hard you
try.
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Feeling that you don't know your
partner.
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Feeling lonely in your relationship.
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Ongoing and "explosive" arguments.
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Feeling judged.
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Feelings of
worthlessness. |
